Note: Sigmund’s Quest is a working demo and does not (yet) contain any werewolves or incest. Sorry!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO DISAPPOINTED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
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Archive for October, 2014
IF Comp ’14 – Gregor Holtz’s Sigmund’s Quest!
October 23, 2014IF Comp ’14 – Alon Karmi & Glenn Parker’s Milk Party Palace!
October 22, 2014Attempting to play this game has opened a Pandora’s box of plugins I need to update, because they are vulnerable. Weren’t these the updated versions you told me to get to replace the old vulnerable plugins, Firefox? Will the madness never cease?
Java tells me it is everywhere, even in my car. You haven’t met my car, Java. MS-DOS won’t even run in my car. Sometimes my car won’t even run in my car.
OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE I DON’T WANT YOUR SEARCH BAR NO ONE WANTS YOUR SEARCH BAR
…sorry, I’ll just finish this up on my own quietly.
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IF Comp ’14 – Jens Byriel’s Laterna Magica!
October 22, 2014Either I lost the draft of my review for this game or I hallucinated writing it in the first place. Maybe that’s what laterna magica is, the illusion that one has played an IF Comp game and begun to write a review for it. Anyway, I’ll sum it up after the jump.
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IF Comp ’14 – Giannis G. Georgiou’s One Night Stand!
October 15, 2014Breaking the shit out of the betsy ’cause I want to try this one next. Do you think the author’s initials are a deliberate reference to Dan Savage’s controversial acronym GGG (“good, giving, and game?”)
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IF Comp ’14 – B Minus Seven’s Inward Narrow Crooked Lanes!
October 10, 2014Breaking the betsy again because I was just really curious about what this was.
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IF Comp ’14 – Ade McT’s Fifteen Minutes!
October 10, 2014I don’t know what to put in this space so I’m just going to link to a video my sister made about kale. My sister gets really excited about kale, apparently!
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IF Comp ’14 – Simon Deimel’s Enigma!
October 6, 2014It’s nighttime, but I think I can handle Enigma. I’ve got a bright light, a blanket, and a dude next to me in bed. I hope he stops meditating soon so I can ask him his name and how he got in here.
Oh, shit, he left. I am so fucked.
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IF Comp ’14 – Arthur DiBianca’s Excelsior!
October 5, 2014Breaking the betsy in order to not play a game with a pool of blood on the cover at 3:06 AM. Given how things went down with Eidolon, I feel pretty justified in this. Remind me to write an autobiographical game sometime where every object is a perfectly normal object but the PC is pants-shitteningly afraid of all of them and then steps on a scorpion. (I stepped on a scorpion earlier this week and it stung the crap out of me. Then I stepped on a dead one and got just a little bit of venom in my other foot and for a while I was walking around on two feet full of scorpion venom feeling real good at life. tl;dr the desert is terrible)
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IF Comp ’14 – A.D. Jansen’s Eidolon!
October 5, 2014Guys, I don’t want to freak anyone out here, but I just woke up and something was passing through the night sky.
Update: This review now contains 83% more Eidolon!*
*where “83%” is used to mean “an arbitrary percentage”
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IF Comp ’14 – Lynnea Glasser’s Creatures Such As We!
October 5, 2014Note From the Future: This game takes place on the moon and you should play it. That is all.
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Pissy Little Sausages 