Comp updates might be a bit sporadic after this. I’ve made a deal with the controllers of my apartment that I don’t have to give them any more money but in exchange I have to never go there again and also put all my stuff somewhere else and it turns out that for a person with very few worldly assets I have a surprising lot of stuff.
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You’re giving a talk at a big important tech conference. But do you really deserve to be here, or were you selected just to fill a diversity quota?
This is the most insecure-sounding game premise I have encountered since the one in ’08 where all you did was have social anxiety disorder.
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Michael Thomét, of course, is best known for his Industrial Revolution-era bentwood chairs. Wait, no, I’m thinking of Michael Thonet. Michael Thomét is an elfin ghost that lives in your skull.
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You are a collection of energy loosely held. You are an echo of a person. Something holds you here.
Yeah, I get that a lot.
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Everyone is dead. You are still alive. The Skull Lake Stalker might have a trick or two left up his sleeve. Will you survive the last reel of the movie?
Requires a free StoryNexus account (Fallen London).
I’m a bit shirty about having to register a StoryNexus account, but the process was not difficult, so fuck it. Let’s see how we fare against the Skull Lake Stalker. (My best guess: terribly.)
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Okay, so it’s just the one cat, and the one dog. I didn’t really feel like googleimaging too hard and I figured no one else really wanted me to either.
[This is probably gonna be NSFW.]
Ryan: oh speaking of the comp, JENNI
me: yeah?
Ryan: I have this urge to pointedly demand eye contact with you
but that doesn’t work
me: okay I can look at my screen in a real focused way I guess
Ryan: JENNI
I respect that you are going through the games in alphabetsy order
me: but?
Ryan: but if you don’t review robin and orchid, I’m gonna
me: okay okay I promise I will review Robin & Orchid
Ryan: YOU BETTER PROMISE
me: okay I will fuck with my OCD and do it tonight
Ryan: whoa
I didn’t ask you to break the betsy!
me: OH I’M BREAKING THE BETSY
THIS BETSY IS GONNA GET BROKEN BY ME
Ryan: everyone’s gonna think “ryan veeder used his dirt that he has on jenni to make her break the betsy”
me: oooh let them think that, that makes me sound exciting
can I post this conversation basically verbatim to explain why I am breaking the betsy?
Ryan: hey it makes me sound exciting too, if somewhat evil
yeah but don’t post the part where we discuss whether you can post it, because that ruins the illusion
me: okay
wait but if I post that part and then the part where you say that and then the part where I say this it becomes delightfully meta
is meta still in?
Ryan: meta is still in but in this case it’s selling past the close
me: I will honor your judgment on meta
Ryan: and I will honor our understood agreement that I won’t publicize these compromising photos of you
me: the photos of me giving up part of what I want while someone else gives up part of what they want?
Ryan: those too.
me: oh good
okay brb while I go review your game, you harpy
Ryan: you can’t call a BOY a HARPY
me: I believe I just did
Ryan: NOW YOU CALLED ME A BOY
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You are in a dream but if you stay you’ll miss out on a great birthday!
If you like the rhyme… It’s hammer time!
What time is it if I didn’t notice the rhyme and am indifferent to it now that it has been pointed out to me? (Snarky jerkbutt time?)
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A day like many others. Dad at the BBQ – his son walking in an empty house.
Remembering what’s happened.
Disappointment fills the void between the two.
And then, a UNICORN attacks!
I can get behind this except for the oddly aggro unicorn. Unicorns don’t just attack out of nowhere. Unicorns are nice. And magical and shit. (This message was brought to you by Being A Girl in the Eighties So Yeah I Hella Know Stuff About Unicorns and Can Also Rollerskate Pretty Good.)
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Man, if there’s anything I hate, it’s getting stolen away by apathetic Blind Ones when my only desire is to return to my Cellarium and the Song of the Universe. Guess I’ll shall make them to understand!
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Pissy Little Sausages 