Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

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Neither IF Comp Nor Safe For Work: The Literary Review’s Bad Sex In Fiction Nominees

November 18, 2016

It’s gonna get real sexy below the jump, kids. Quotes borrowed from The Guardian.

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IF Comp ’16 – Xalavier Nelson’s SCREW YOU, BEAR DAD!

October 31, 2016

When I first read that this game existed I was super excited but then I saw a tweet that suggested it might cause me to have emotions, so I’ve been avoiding playing it, because all emotions besides “I am currently in a hammock” are pretty much terrible.

But then I was like, you know what, whatever, fuck it, I’ll just play the bear dad game. And that brings us to now.

[spoilers begin here]

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IF Comp ’16 – Chet Rocketfrak’s Toiletworld!

October 27, 2016

Toilet World: World of Toilets.

I’m sold.

[spoiletworld begins here]

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IF Comp ’16 – Fade Manley’s The Little Lifeform That Could!

October 11, 2016

I like the idea of being a tiny microbe with grand dreams, working my way up from the evolutionary mailroom. Also this game has promised me a chance at a fancy hat.

[spoilers begin here]

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IF Comp ’16 – Andy Joel’s The God Device!

October 11, 2016

“The God Device” is a pretty good title. Also, I really, really, really want to know what’s in the blood-stained envelope the archaeologist gave Tanya just before she died.

…it’s probably nothing.

[spoilers begin here]

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IF Comp ’16 – Abigail Corfman’s 16 Ways To Kill A Vampire At McDonald’s!

October 11, 2016

I just ate McDonald’s last weekend for the third time since I saw the movie Super Size Me twelve years ago. 

This is how it happened: I was standing behind the counter in the organic grocery store where I work, surrounded by kamut berries & sprouted spelt flour & shoppers arguing about the micronutrient profile of kimchi. My boyfriend walked in, trailing the scent of cigarette smoke & corporate interests, and handed me a soft, paper-wrapped, hockey-puck-shaped object.

It turned out to be a fucking McGriddle. I love McGriddles. There’s just something about the combination of fake maple & heartlessly murdered mistreated dead animal on a pillow-soft bun that adds up to delicious, and I’m not even kidding.

So I huddled in the corner & shoved the unholy thing into my face like a rodent afraid of the winter.

That story doesn’t have a punchline. Maybe not all stories should have punchlines. Maybe our expectations of stories are forcing us into narrow channels where we’re only using five percent of our neurons & experiencing eight percent of our joy.

[spoilers begin here]

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IF Comp ’16 – Amelia Pinnola’s Take!

October 6, 2016

There is nothing you can’t take.

The previous sentence seriously, is the first thing I intend to take. After that, the sun.

[hold on to your blog readers because this looks like it’s going to get real nutty]

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