Spring Thing ’13 – Andrew Schultz’s A Roiling Original!

Tonight’s RSS buffer brought to you by Mouth Audio Interests, a division of Ryan Veeder.

me:  Mouth Audio Interests has got to be a front for something
Ryan:  that Pauly “Big” Mouth has his fingers in a lot of pies
me:  and a lot of pies in his mouth
Ryan:  one of his many piefingers is his literal pie business
he needs literal pie money to feed a figurative monkey
me:  ahahahaha
Piefingers is also the name of his literal pie business
Ryan:  it’s a front for literal monkey trafficking
me:  most of the overhead involves keeping the literal monkeys from eating the literal pies
Ryan:  figurative overhead
the literal monkeys are kept in the basement
me:  right, where it’s cooler
Ryan:  the pies are in a cooler!!!
me:  IT ALL MAKES SENSE
Ryan:  Pauly Mouth is a guy for whom
things just kinda
mesh

[spoilers begin here]

Monaco and Feminism, or, Give Me A Female Cleaner and A Smashburger and You Can Have All the Redheads You Want

ETA: Hi, random dude out looking for a feminist to say mean things to, who has discovered this almost two-year-old (as I write this) blog post!  If you read the comments, you will note that the guy who made the game wrote back to me.  If anyone gets to tell me to fuck off, it’s that guy, but he was really, really nice and gracious and we had a good conversation like reasonable people and that was awesome.

I think there is a chance that you, personally, are not terrible, but your hobby is shitty and I suggest taking the rest of the evening off and playing video games.  Video games are really fun!  Have you played Monaco yet?

[more words if you click a thing]

Spring Thing ’13 – Adam Holbrook’s Encyclopedia of Elementals!

Shameful things in my search history:

ikea horse puppet
i don’t know, son, we’re lions
rollerskating waitress jobs phoenix
ridiculous lion noise
echidna penis
ersatz homosexual relationship
larp not about vampires
a picture of a vagina
novels printed on toilet paper
don’t shoot the puppy
david bowie’s area
daisy dukes with the pockets left in

(If anyone you know needs a rollerskating waitress, hit me up!  I would be a great rollerskating waitress, or any other job I can do on roller skates!)

[spoilers begin here]

this is just to say

I have eaten the plums that — wait, fuck, no

This is just to say that the name of this blog is one of those phrases you can sing to the tune of Camptown Ladies, and it took me over four years to notice that.

Carry on with your bad selves.  I am going to sleep now.

doo-dah, doo-dah

Spring Thing ’13 — Mostly Useless’s Witch’s Girl!

Okay, Polodna.  I don’t think you managed to play half of last year’s IF Comp games.  You still haven’t played Hoosegow.  You think you can put on your big boy pants and play three whole Spring Thing games, or do you need Mommy and Daddy to take care of the monsters driving motorcycles in your closet?

…I’m a big boy.

[spoilers begin here]