IF Comp ’16 – Chet Rocketfrak’s Toiletworld!October 27, 2016
Toilet World: World of Toilets.
[spoiletworld begins here]
dedication is: for my haters.
you commando roll like a badass down a ramp with sixteen signs all reading TOILET except one that reads TOILET ACCESSORIES. there’s a big padlock with the words THERE IS NO KEY FOR THIS LOCK AND NEVER WILL BE on the hasp. dont look for the key because there 100% isnt one. (TODO: add key)
Okay, this is clearly a troll game, but I’m still having fun.
You can’t see any such thing.
I’m in Toiletworld. Literally everything is toilets. Toilets within toilets, toilets all the way down. The room description mentions a giant toilet that the game wants me to jump into. Therefore, the lack of an implemented toilet is a bold-ass move. Aggressive, even!
But that’s just how it goes, down here in Toiletworld*.
You can see mineral deposits on the walls, like the sort of mineral deposits that would result from years of flushing hard water with a mineral content at or above 0.5g/L, which is the typical sedimentary limit for residential water supplies.
You enter a room in the shape of a toilet, containing nothing other than a toilet. The toilet is in the shape of a room.
This. Game. Is. Brilliant.
You can see eight and a brass key here.
When I TAKE ALL, it turns out that the eight things whose display names are just a space character** are TheToilet1 through TheToilet8.
Whatever that means!
You see nothing special about the TheToilet8.
I have no idea if this game’s brokenness is deliberate, but it’s definitely comprehensive!
I uh was excited about the prospect of unlocking the lock with the key but now it seems as though the lock itself might not exist? Can I unlock SecondToiletDoorOne?
This toilet is real small-like. There’s an enormous toilet in the corner. its real big. like a toilet for elephants if elephants were just as big as they are now but also the shape of humans. there will be lots of room for you to slide down it as a means of transport. p.s. in case the name doesnt show up when you do the >x thing its SecondToiletFirstToiletDoorOne. thanks
New theory: this game exists to be the worst game in the comp, so no one else will have to feel that pain. I mean, I’m enjoying this game, but it’s objectively very bad by almost any metric (excluding of course the one where the game with the most toilets in it is the best game).
As… as far as I can tell these toilet slides just poop back and forth forever, so I guess I am done with Toiletworld?
That was clearly the worst game in the entire comp & I’m sad there wasn’t more of it.
* World of Toilets.
** Like Marvin the Martian. He was a space character. Also, Samus Aran.