Man, The Blind House must have been effective on some level, because I sure have been thinking about it a lot. I guess if someone dressed in a bear suit rode up to me on a tiny trick bike and thrust a pot of clam chowder into my arms, then rode away screaming “fuck the librarians!”, I would be thinking about that a lot too.
Anyway, this is what I’ve been thinking. (It is incredibly spoilery, so go play the game before you read it.)
[spoilers begin here]
I need an RSS buffer so I can post this. Here, have this snippet from my novel.
She was the forty-third thing I fucked that day, the girl I mentioned. You know, the one with the cancer bomb that I’ll get to in a minute. The first thing I fucked was my pants on, like always, then I fucked the maple syrup into my oatmeal. People think it’s weird to put maple syrup in oatmeal, but I like to pretend I’m eating a million tiny pancakes.
Sometimes, if I feel like I’ve been slacking lately, I’ll change it up and pretend they’re maple-covered shuriken, and that I have been captured by ninjas. A man in my profession has to be mentally prepared for anything, and there is no telling what ninjas will make you eat a bowl of. You’re lucky if it’s shuriken and not your own poop.
[spoilers begin here]
Pissy Little Sausages 