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IF Comp ’16 – Adam Whybray & Edgar Allan Poe’s Evermore!

October 2, 2016

Okay, wait a minute, I have a joke for this. Evermore is that, that thing that lets you keep all your notes across different devices, except it’s for ravens.

Maybe I don’t have a joke for this.

[spoilers begin here]

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IF Comp ’15 – Hanon Ondricek’s The Baker of Shireton!

October 3, 2015

You are the Baker of Shireton.  The bread you bake is delicious.  Raiders are coming.

Fuckin’ A the bread I bake is delicious.  You know how Shireton is famous for its delicious bread?  That’s me.  I bake that.

Raiders best step the fuck off, is what I am saying.  (And not for the first time; my boyfriend lives in Oakland and sometimes we pretend that either of us gives a shit about American football, which is demonstrably untrue.)

[spoilers begin here]

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IF Comp ’14 – Gregor Holtz’s Sigmund’s Quest!

October 23, 2014

Note: Sigmund’s Quest is a working demo and does not (yet) contain any werewolves or incest. Sorry!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO DISAPPOINTED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

[spoilers begin here]

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IF Comp ’14 – Alon Karmi & Glenn Parker’s Milk Party Palace!

October 22, 2014

Attempting to play this game has opened a Pandora’s box of plugins I need to update, because they are vulnerable.  Weren’t these the updated versions you told me to get to replace the old vulnerable plugins, Firefox?  Will the madness never cease?

Java tells me it is everywhere, even in my car.  You haven’t met my car, Java.  MS-DOS won’t even run in my car.  Sometimes my car won’t even run in my car.

OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE I DON’T WANT YOUR SEARCH BAR NO ONE WANTS YOUR SEARCH BAR

…sorry, I’ll just finish this up on my own quietly.

[spoilers begin here]

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IF Comp ’14 – Jens Byriel’s Laterna Magica!

October 22, 2014

Either I lost the draft of my review for this game or I hallucinated writing it in the first place.  Maybe that’s what laterna magica is, the illusion that one has played an IF Comp game and begun to write a review for it.  Anyway, I’ll sum it up after the jump.

[spoilers begin here]

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IF Comp ’14 – Giannis G. Georgiou’s One Night Stand!

October 15, 2014

Breaking the shit out of the betsy ’cause I want to try this one next.  Do you think the author’s initials are a deliberate reference to Dan Savage’s controversial acronym GGG (“good, giving, and game?”)

[spoilers begin here]

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IF Comp ’14 – B Minus Seven’s Inward Narrow Crooked Lanes!

October 10, 2014

Breaking the betsy again because I was just really curious about what this was.

[spoilers begin here]

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IF Comp ’14 – Ade McT’s Fifteen Minutes!

October 10, 2014

I don’t know what to put in this space so I’m just going to link to a video my sister made about kale.  My sister gets really excited about kale, apparently!

[spoilers begin here]

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IF Comp ’14 – Simon Deimel’s Enigma!

October 6, 2014

It’s nighttime, but I think I can handle Enigma.  I’ve got a bright light, a blanket, and a dude next to me in bed.  I hope he stops meditating soon so I can ask him his name and how he got in here.

Oh, shit, he left.  I am so fucked.

[spoilers begin here]

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IF Comp ’14 – Arthur DiBianca’s Excelsior!

October 5, 2014

Breaking the betsy in order to not play a game with a pool of blood on the cover at 3:06 AM.  Given how things went down with Eidolon, I feel pretty justified in this.  Remind me to write an autobiographical game sometime where every object is a perfectly normal object but the PC is pants-shitteningly afraid of all of them and then steps on a scorpion.  (I stepped on a scorpion earlier this week and it stung the crap out of me.  Then I stepped on a dead one and got just a little bit of venom in my other foot and for a while I was walking around on two feet full of scorpion venom feeling real good at life.  tl;dr the desert is terrible)

[scorpions begin here — spoilers, I mean spoilers]

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