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IF Comp ’13 – Brendan Patrick Hennessy’s Bell Park, Youth Detective!

October 1, 2013

A headstrong twelve-year-old detective gets in over her head when she’s hired to solve a murder mystery at an internet technology conference.

That is a great blurb.  I am sold.  Why does Brendan Patrick Hennessy sound familiar OH MY GOD IT’S THE YOU WILL SELECT A DECISION GUY I LOVED YOU WILL SELECT A DECISION

enough talk we are playing this

[spoilers begin here]

Y’know, I just nodded and went “Right” when I read the premise, but the way it’s written, it is actually very funny that this guy has entrusted the detectiving of his murder to a twelve-year-old girl.

“Lately my mind has been occupied by the incredible potential of gamification with regards to radically altering social outcomes.”
Oh, man, someone get me this guy’s number and we will talk.

“Why would you want to check every book out of the library?” you ask.
“Don’t ask why I would want to do it, ask why a Chechen cyberterrorist would want to do it.”
Okay.  Why would a Chechen cyberterrorist want to do it?

“No, it’s like… you know… it’s that saying. Everyone says it. ‘Surfing the internet.’ It’s, er, what you do to the internet.”
“Do you mean using the internet? Because that’s what I do to the internet.”
This both cracked me up and made me feel old, because when I was Bell Park’s age, we had yet to invent surfing the internet.  I don’t think we were even cyber.  Wait, no, I’m looking into it and we had cyberspace but not cybercafes.  Thanks, Obama!

“Well well,” you say coolly, “if it isn’t a murderer. I think it’s time the two of us had a little chat.”
Bell is very good at playing it cool.  You can tell when I think a game is funny because the review becomes basically me copy-pasting the funniest parts.  I’m going to do it again in a second.

“Sounds an awful lot like something a murderer would say to a cop,” you say.
“Well I’m not a murderer and you’re not a cop.”
“No, I’M not a murderer and YOU’RE not a cop.”
“Neither of us are murderers and neither of us are cops!”
“You seem awfully sure about who is and isn’t a murderer. Much like the real murderer would be.”

“…and I gave it a love of surfing.” says Chet.

I enjoyed that.  No, I don’t have anything else to say about it, I am too busy having just finished having enjoyed it.

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