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But Let’s Look at the Blurbs for a Moment

October 17, 2011

I have to say, the blurbers this year were in fine fettle.  Here are some of my favorite excerpts.

You are thrust into earthly existence to fulfill the tenth and final plague.
I sort of wish someone would say this to me, because then I would at least know why I’d been thrust into earthly existence.  “To watch all these cat videos” seems unlikely.

One minute you’re at your office worrying about your finances and the next you’re face to face with Merlin the wizard of Camelot.
Who, oddly enough, is worrying about his finances.  Recession is tough.

Your new job as a time traveler may be harder than you thought.
I love both the understatement and the implication that you had a thought along the lines of “Sweet, time traveler job!  Easier than Kinko’s and you never get fired.”

Schlig is kidnapped by aliens and turned into a mutant eyeball freak by their experiments. Now Schlig must use his eyes in ways that no human was ever intended to in order to escape from the aliens and find a way back to Earth before he gets eaten.
This sounds like pretty much the most awesome game ever written, and I say that knowing full well Victor Gijsbers has an IF/roguelike hybrid in the comp.

Your dog is gone. She must be brought. You have a beet (and some other vegetables).
The joy of these three sentences lies in their simplicity, the inexplicable noteworthiness of the beet compared to the other nameless vegetables, and in wondering what you’re going to wind up doing with the things.

A creep kidnaps you, a blind woman.
The first time I read this I thought I’d been kidnapped by a creepy blind woman, which made it pretty interesting up in my brain for a second there.

There is the wind, a bleak and chill thing.
Atmospherey!

Since the spores came the future has been a happier place.
I’d been trying to work out why this one made me giggle, then I realized it’s probably the classification of the future as a place.  (Time:  2037.  Place:  The Future, In Space.  Mood:  Much Happier Since the Spores Arrived, Thank You For Asking!)

My absolute favorite, though:
Taco Fiction is a game about crime.

Taco Fiction is a game about crime.

3 comments

  1. The tenth and final plague is the plague of cat videos.


    • That’s why the future is a happier place.


  2. Just to totally kill/explain the joke, Beet the Devil‘s blurb is a reference to For a Change, which is just as awesome as the blurb makes it sound.



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