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CGDC #7 – C. Everett’s Terminal!

February 21, 2010

As an A.I., you are trapped in the facility you are housed in. When everyone leaves, you are all alone. Fashion yourself an actual body!

Yay!  I love fashioning myself an actual body!  What do you think, excerpt from Koalas Are Little Bitches?

        If a koala goes in the water it won't be able to breathe
with its little short ass. It'd fucking drown soon aas it take
one step into the water. While they at the river trying to get
something to drink a bear could just come to him and snatch its
ass up. It doesn't know protection because they don't have
protection. What they little ass going to do? It can't scratch
him. The bear will beat his fucking ass.

That is absolutely correct.

[spoilers begin here]

I’m seeing a lot of nothing special about things.  Not my favorite way to start a game.

A large cylinder marked “Sensitive Organics” sits in a corner.
The organics are sulking in their cylinder again.  Someone must have told them they had lovely eyes, which they interpreted as “your eyes are your only good feature, you fat stupid fat fuck.”

>x cylinder
On the outside, it resembles a container used for bio-hazards.
On the inside, it has leather seats and a working champagne fountain shaped like Kirk Cameron’s head.

Whoa, Catherine’s got a nudie mag!  I haven’t seen a nudie mag in an IF game since Madam Fifi’s Whorehouse Adventure!  (I was like seven years old at the time and thought it was a magazine that had gotten dirty.  Isn’t that adorable?  I asked my mother what a whore was.  She wouldn’t tell me, but she did correct my pronunciation.)
*** Run-time problem P22: Attempt to look up a non-existent row in the table ‘** No such table **’.
That seems broken.  Oh, shit, I think I crashed it.  Let’s try the Flash version.

Huh, it’s interesting that Richard would set Catherine’s password to pygmalion75, not knowing that I would soon send this drone to build me a body.  Coincidence?

Oh, good, the Flash version didn’t crash at the point the Javascript version did.  Carrying right on.

Wow, Catherine’s journal entries are really short.  It’s almost like she’s Twittering, except she’s actually got something of substance to impart.

On the component lift is Fine Motor Arms.
I have no idea what this means.

Well, all right, I sort of have no idea what I’m doing, but I think I might be able to blunder along.  (All this asking me to do science!  Why couldn’t the theme of this competition have been “do whatever you like, as long as you’re not asking Jenni to do science?”)

Awww, Catherine stole Richard’s nudie mag, and he’s got a thing for her.  That’s cute.

Wait, I’m carrying the drone?  I thought I was moving around as the drone!  Unless as an AI I consider that to be me carrying it.  Wow, that’s deep.

So, okay, this is one of your hunt-up-all-the-bits games, looks like.  I’m rather fond of these, although this one is a tad unpolished and confusing in places (do I put everything I want assembled on the components lift or the assembly platform?  You’d think the assembly platform, but this chassis is too heavy to move from the lift and I can’t seem to get the head off of it.)

Huh.  If putting arms on the first chassis or the second chassis would achieve nothing, what the hell do I put them on?

Oh, I had to ATTACH them.  That… yeah.  Would be nice if PUT ON worked.

Yay, the android is complete!  I can’t, y’know, look at it or anything, though.  Or figure out how to put my mind inside of it.  Oh, okay, that’s what the button does?  Well all righty then.

This could use some work, but it was fairly enjoyable really.  I have no idea where to even start making the organic body you’re supposed to be able to make (unless there’s a room off to the west that I just failed to go into?) but it was cute that the robotics expert and the biologist both left me with materials to make a new body in their own different ways.  That being said, I would have liked to see more of my personality, if they both thought of me as a person that they liked and wanted to help instead of just an AI.  (You get a glimpse of this in their logs, but it’s completely missing in the narration.)

Anyway, that wasn’t too bad.

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