IF Comp ’09 – Lea’s Byzantine Perspective!October 14, 2009
I try not to soak up the zeitgeist, but it’s like frickin’ au jus and I am, presumably, a small defenseless dinner roll. (Or, y’know, anything along those lines. I could be a crouton, or even a potato. It does not matter one bit. I could slip into evil sponge form and defeat what’s-his-name the Wonder Twin, although he might question my reason for being full of au jus, as would I, frankly.) Therefore, I have picked up a couple preconceived notions about this game, but nothing too spoileriffic, so I think it should be okay.
No use fucking around any more in this introduction, since I’ve already used “zeitgeist” and “au jus” in the same sentence, and I’m not going to top that without wondering out loud if my people know they are godless now.
Mostly Spoiler-Free Upshot: Oh, man, forgot this bit. There’s not much to this game besides a single twist, but it’s kind of neat twist. This is pretty much exactly what the au jus was saying.
[spoilers begin here]
I am stealing a chalice in order to pay for art school. Beats strippin’. So far I like this game.
> x chalice
Gold and gemstones, arranged to bring out piety in the most skeptical of observers.
…what sort of arrangement is that? Are the gemstones arranged in an adorable kitty face to disarm observers’ skepticism and then the chalice itself is shaped like God? What does that sentence even mean?
…huh, I just tried to take the chalice, and my hand went through it “as if it were a hologram.” Am I dead? Do they let dead people into art school?
How did I get in here? And who did I borrow these night-vision goggles from, and what did I say I needed them for? Why am I asking so many questions?
Okay, I’m googling “byzantine perspective.” Oh, okay, Wikipedia explains it as a perspective used in Christian iconography where instead of your vanishing point being on the horizon, it’s somewhere behind the viewer. Kinda trippy.
There’s something weird about my goggles, and I think I want to use a verb on them, but I’m not sure which one. Are there hints?
Oh, okay, I can move around! Apparently I’m not actually where I think I am at any given time? Maybe?
> x icons
Seriously? Oh, okay.
It’s an IF game! I want to examine stuff! There might be some sort of hint!
I read ancient Greek? I’m pretty snazzy.
Yeah, now I’m in the walls. There’s definitely something weird about these goggles.
Oh, excellent, there’s a map! I guess the puzzle is working out which room I’m actually in at any given time, which should be pretty fun. Let’s map!
That was easier than I’d expected, maybe because the first room I tried to work out could pretty much only have been the bathroom. Oh, okay, the button on the goggles seems to give me a choice of which direction I want to be one room off in, which I think I can use to look into the security office. Ha! Take that, museum security! You’d think if there’d been a rash of recent robberies, they’d have the place locked down a bit tighter. How am I planning on fencing this thing, anyway? What sort of art am I going to major in? What does beefalo taste like? What’s Ryan O’Neil doing right now?
Oh, good, I won the game when I got the chalice and didn’t have to worry about any pesky details like escaping without being caught. That was pretty fun actually, though there wasn’t a lot to it. I’m not sure how I feel about outside materials being sort of necessary, although in a pinch I suppose you could map the thing yourself, and I’m not sure it even makes sense to worry about the needs of hypothetical people who have access to the game but not the PDF. Anyway, yeah, clever puzzle which I hadn’t seen before, if not very much else. Gets a six.
…wait a minute, how did I not notice the button on these night-vision goggles when I first borrowed them, and why did my friend not explain them to me, and in how many niche situations is it even useful to own a pair of night-vision goggles that show you everywhere except where you are? Eh, I guess I’ll let it slide. This time.
Update: Rescoring this game to a seven because I feel I’ve been punishing things too harshly for being short this year. Also, I’m going to stop dipping Toulouse-Lautrec in boiling oil.