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Review – Aaron Reed’s Blue Lacuna, Part Five!

February 18, 2009

After a particularly frustrating session (I must’ve caught stupid recently, ’cause man, y’know?) I am done with the game.  Sadly it is not so much a “whoo, confetti!” feeling as a “thank fuck,” but you take what you can get, I guess, you meaning me.

Need to solidify some thoughts before I post a final opinion.  In the meantime, pants.  Pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants PANTS pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants I really ought to read more Russian literature pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants no wait fuck that pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants pants paaaaaaaaaaaaaaaants.

Phew!

[spoilers begin here]

Oh, I see, the blue crystal is somenium, which works as sort of a conduit for the hive-mindery and makes people go batshit.  Good to know.

“Hey, it’s maker nature, friend, we all want it,” he says smoothly.  “I got the perfect super for you.  He’ll have you do some chores, fill out some paperwork, organize some clothes for him…”
Makes sense that in a culture founded on self-reliance, having just thrown off the yoke of symbiotic oppression, this would be the guilty pleasure sold in an alley for an hourly rate.  I like that.  Conceptually, I mean; I’m certainly not gonna shell out any money for it.

Okay, the humanpeople want me to climb to the top of the tallest windsigh tree on the island and look at the stars, so I can transmit the astrological data that will lead them there.  It’s about now that I begin to wish I’d been paying attention to how tall these trees were.

Until this storm dies down, until the danger of winds and lightning have passed, you’re probably safer staying put.
Grrrrrr!

> sleep
You feel too exposed up here.

The mossy hollow up by the a windsigh tree on the rockslide might be a good place to sleep.
Except I’m stuck up here by the pyramid until the storm passes.  This was why I wanted to sleep.

> e
> w
(repeat about fifty times, give up)
> wait for morning
In the future, to wait for just a few minutes you can simply type WAIT.
I hate you.

> wait
> g
(repeat, oh, let’s say one quadrillion times)
(the storm is STILL NOT GONE)
(HOW I MAKE TIME PASS?  HOW GIRL GET PRAGNANT?)

Let’s see here.  My actions in themselves do not seem to be making time pass, even though it seemed like they were during the exploration phase – I would walk around and look at stuff, and morning would progress to afternoon, and like that.  Maybe that only works until nighttime –

OH FUCK ME IN THE FACE HOW DID I NOT SAVE AFTER CHAPTER SEVEN?  COCK BALLS INORDINATE AMOUNTS OF CURSING okay I’m done.

– and the only way to make it morning again is to sleep?  I’m going to test this.  In chapter fucking seven.

Nope, managed to wait until dawn.  Hypothesis failed.  Let me see if I can do that again, during the storm.

…hmm.  The only place I can go seems to be back to the city, but when I get there, they tell me to come back here and climb a tree.  Which I can’t seem to do until the storm is over.  Which it shows no signs of ever going to be.  Seems like the storm is scripted, too, which would imply that the game has cut off those exits on purpose, either to turn my attention towards something else, or to piss me off.  If the former, not so much working, game.  Also, the passwords keep passing through my mind… maybe I’m supposed to contact the tree people, whether I want to or not?  Worth a shot.

…oh, I found chapter eight.  It was hiding behind chapter nine.

When I was a Sapling, many Maker-Lifetimes ago, the We-scientists Learned to Send our Thoughts through the Bluerock.  Thus do We remain One across the Grove, though Light-Centuries Separate Some from Others.
Now I’m glad I’m siding with the humanpeople.  Treepeople Use too Many Capital Letters for My Taste.

Some things translate better into text than others.  This map room would probably be really awesome in a graphical adventure game.  Not that it’s not cool here, but it’s also pretty friggin’ confusing.  Oh, okay, zoom in, zoom out… am I supposed to be doing something in particular?  Let’s hope not.

Also this town is confusing.  I am not going to borrow anyone else’s body anymore unless they have a compass.

No one much cares here if you run around naked.  Not a complaint; merely an observation.

Oh, sure, now the storm is passing.  I have to say I feel a tad railroaded.  It’s not this that I mind, really, it’s that I never expected the game to restrict my free will in that way, when up to this point it’s been all about choice, so when I was unable to progress due to the storm I honestly thought I was being screwed over by random weather conditions, which made me (scrolls up), yes, upset.

Oh, hi, Progue.  You want to make the choice?  Knock yourself out, buddy.  Oh, you’d rather not choose either?  Awesome.

Well, that was fun.  But where is the reunion scene with my screamingly dull boyfriend?

I will go have thoughts now.  Promise.  If you’re very lucky, some of them might even be about this game.

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One comment

  1. No Rume? unsatisfying ending? dumb time grinding? ffs



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