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IF Comp ’08 Review – Dean Menezes’ The Absolute Worst Game in IF History!

October 4, 2008

Definitely going for something light after that one. Let’s see, what looks like a comedy… Grief is right out. Everybody Dies sounds promising, except that everybody dies. I’m sorry I already did the dog one; that’d’ve been perfect. Hmm. Looks like it’s between Recess at Last, Channel Surfing, and Nerd Quest. The first two are giving me ish with the glblorx thinger being too new, or not new enough, and Nerd Quest – the hell? Java? Folders?

[side rant] You know, I have been sucking on Microsoft’s nipple since I was like six, and although I’m starting to get the hang of this Macintosh, it is still sort of like trying to do everything with my toes. Also what happened to the rest of the apples and the Lisa? [/side rant]

Okay, we will go with the first non-depressing-sounding thing we can get to work, and the winner is… Dean Menezes’ The Absolute Worst Game in IF History! Games like this are generally either pretty damn funny or sort of sad and limp and lukewarm. Hoping for the former.

[spoilers start here]

If you get through the maze, you get the scarabæus of floccinaucinihilipilification. The maze is to the east.

I’m with you so far, Dean Menezes! Even if I have a hard time stopping spelling your name!

Twisty little passages reference without a punchline. Minus twenty dragon kill points.

…oh good God I’m in a maze. A maze without any jokes in it. I suppose it’s my fault for assuming this was going to be a clever little parody game about the worst game ever instead of an actual sincere attempt to make the worst game ever. Let me make sure I just haven’t missed the clever bit. Right back.

Oh, huh, I won. Well, go me, I guess. Someone tell me if there is more to this so I can adjust its score, which right now, out of five, is crappety-seven. At a crap convention. Handing out flyers. Flyers made of crap.

HEY WAIT I DIDN’T EVEN GET THE SCARABAEUS OF FLOCCINAUCINIHILIPILIFICATION! THIS IS THE WORST GAME EVER!

…is that the joke?

Update:  From the people who brought you the definition of lucubrator, we have the definition of floccinaucinihilipilification, namely “the act or habit of esteeming something as worthless.”  As I have just done with this game.  I understand now!  The scarabæus of floccinaucinihilipilification was with me all along!

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